Dare You To Move
by borrowedheaven
Summary: JCAL: "And while he may have known it before, he now knew for sure that this was how it was supposed to be, all along." A Carby reunion -- my C&P Summer Fanfic Contest contribution.


**Title: **"Dare You To Move"  
**Author:** Brookestar  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** Any ER character mentioned in this belongs to Michael Crichton, and whoever else owns ER. This is purely for entertainment purposes only, nothing more. The tagline below is borrowed from the movie trailer of "A Walk To Remember," so I don't own that either. The title is taken from a song by the wonderful band, _Switchfoot --_ "Dare You To Move", great song.  
**Spoilers: **Everything up to and including "Drive," the Season 10 finale.  
**Summary:** A Carby reunion set sometime after "Drive", in season 11. An entry for the _Coffee and Pie Summer Contest Series_ fic writing challenge, with a few -ahem- minor changes to it.

**A/N:** If you like, you can let me know what you think by either dropping me a line at the email address in my profile (seeing as it won't show up when I write it here), or by using the review box. Either is not necessary, although very much appreciated. Thanks again for reading, and thank you to the wonderful people at _coffeeandpiedotcom_ for the great opportunity to participate in the contest.  
  
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_"Take a risk. Dare to move. _

_Love is a leap of faith."_

_-- Nicholas Sparks,  
_A Walk To Remember

-----  
  
He ran down the stairs as fast as his long legs would carry him, gripping the banister as he surged on forward. Step by step, the back of his calves burned as he didn't stop running.

Pushing his way out the door and into the chilly late afternoon air, he zipped up his coat and began the journey to the one place where he knew he was meant to be.

He was on a mission.

It had come to him as he was sitting in his lonely apartment minutes before, unpacking a lone box he'd left to sit in the closet. He had been looking for a cd he had misplaced, and had ended up finding a lone one of hers instead. One of her 'angry music' groups, a favourite he was sure she probably missed. Smiling fondly at the memories encompassed with it, he had placed it aside and reached back into the box again. Upon digging into it further, almost down to the bottom of the contents, his fingers had grazed that familiar velvet he was positive he didn't want to see again for a long time.

The ring was still in the box, in all its glory. He had stowed it away when he had returned from Africa with Kem, not wanting to have any more reminders of their failed relationship around him. All of reminders of her had been removed -- her bathroom necessities thrown away, easily replaceable, cd's and clothes returned, photos of them together packed into a drawer in a room somewhere in the mansion. He'd even acquired his Gamma's associates to sell his apartment while he was in Africa, most of his possessions held in storage at the mansion for him.

He had sat there on the floor, beside the closet in the foyer for what felt like hours, contemplating the things that had changed since he had returned from abroad. Changes in her, changes in him.

Gripping the box tightly, he had almost forgotten he had it in there.

Almost.

He certainly hadn't proposed to Kem with it, in his desperate bid for her to stay in Chicago with him. He couldn't bring himself to use the ring that had once been reserved for someone else; it didn't feel right. That should have been the first indicator for him, but he pushed aside that thought, and instead, he had bought a new ring -- an expensive, elaborate ring -- and popped the question whilst chasing after her as she left for the airport. She gently refused before she had climbed into the cab, reminding him that it wasn't meant to be and it never had been destined to work the way they both had wanted it to at some point.

It had stung, and he would be lying if he had said he hadn't been disappointed. He was also hurt, and also sure that he couldn't sink any lower after his lover left to go back to her home country, leaving him behind to deal with the memories alone. Memories that had an inane ability to overpower him, bring him down to a lower depth he was sure he would never have to face again.

Kem had left, didn't want anything more to do with him. With emotions that threatened to conquer him, he knew it would have been so easy to revert back to old ways -- a couple of Vicodin here, a shot of Fentanyl there. Anything to help him forget the pain he was feeling. That raw, fresh pain that accompanied him where ever he went, refusing to escape his weary bones and mind, clinging to the recesses of his bruised soul.

In the end, he knew that it wasn't what he really wanted. He didn't want to go back to that life, where his life and career would once again be put in jeopardy. A life where he couldn't practice as a doctor, doing something he loved. A life where he'd be stuck in endless NA meetings in a rehab centre far away from home with no one to visit him, no one to comfort him and talk to him like he wasn't some addict holed up in a place dedicated to helping people overcome those nasty addictions that consumed their lives.

A life where the people around him wouldn't even begin to understand him.

Not in the way she could.

So he started to get his life back on track, and did what he should have done months ago. He invited her to join him for a coffee one afternoon and poured his thoughts and feelings out to her just like the old times, including many apologies and heartfelt thanks he knew he owed her. He was surprised to find out through their conversations that she harboured no ill feelings towards him anymore and had forgiven him long ago, something he was incredibly grateful for. It was a simple gesture that ultimately showed him just how much she had grown, changed, moved on with her life.

And before they both knew it, coffee and pie was shared at any chance they got -- on breaks, before and after work, even after AA meetings that they regularly attended together. Their talks went from idle chit-chat about work and friends, to many hours long where memories were rehashed and laughter was shared, tears were cried. It was just like it was back in the beginning, like the early stages of a newly formed friendship from those many years ago. He was reluctant to admit it at first, but the feelings he had suppressed long ago were slowly resurfacing and there was nothing he could do about it, nothing he wanted to do about it. He wanted to tell her, wanted to confess everything to her, but the fear of losing her again was almost too much to take, so he kept quiet.

Little did he know that she was struggling with those same feelings, pushing them further and further down in the depths of her soul in hopes that she could forget about them. But she wasn't really naïve enough to know that they wouldn't go away that easily.

That last day at Ike's, not more than a few days ago, had reminded him that there was still something there. She still loved him; she had never been so sure of her feelings, and wasn't afraid to show him anymore. It was in the way she turned to him before she left, those feelings radiating in the chocolate contours of her eyes as she looked at him clearly and lovingly.

Her words were nothing short of a whisper, but it was loud enough for him. It had meant to come out as a repartee at the end of her statement, but it had been anything but. It was a declaration that he had been longing for; something he was desperate to ask her, but knew that he had to wait, to hear it from her without any encouragement or any prodding on his behalf.

And in the midst of her surprising words, he realised that he had never been so sure of his feelings either. He knew that without one single doubt, he could shout off any rooftop in the city that he was in love with her; he always had been. He was head over heels, crazy in love with the one woman who intricately understood him, who was inexplicably engrained on his heart and soul forever, who deep down had always been the one for him whether he knew it or not.

Patting his pocket as he finally reached the doors leading up to her apartment, he knew what he had to do.

He was in love with her, and she was in love with him.

And he didn't want anything more to come between them and change that.

-----

Knocking on the green door twice, he patiently waited for her to answer it. He knew she was home; she had finished her shift three hours ago and had jokingly said she had nothing planned except a date with her couch, and then her bed. He had offered to shout her coffee, and maybe dinner at Ike's, but she had politely declined, promising him that they'll go sometime soon in the coming week.

He could hear faint voices wafting through the door, and he could only hope that he wasn't coming at a bad time. He was contemplating leaving, turning back now and chickening out, but he was stopped by the door flying open, revealing someone entirely different to whom he was expecting.

"Susan."

"Carter, hey. What are you doing here?" She opened the door wider, allowing him to cross the threshold and enter the warmed apartment.

"I could ask the same of you," he replied, closing the door behind him.

She folded her arms across her chest, and narrowed her eyebrows at him. "I asked you first… and besides, I have to have a reason to visit my best friend?" He raised his own eyebrow, indicating for her to see the satire in her own statement. She sighed, and rolled her eyes. "She's in the kitchen."

He thanked her, smirking as he walked past her and rounded the corner. He halted in his tracks when he saw the scene in front of him -- her casually sitting at the kitchen table with Susan's daughter bouncing on her lap, the baby squealing and gurgling in delight as she was raised in the air and then brought back down to be showered with little kisses.

And it was in that moment that whatever doubt had been niggling in the depths of his mind had now completely disappeared, and he realised that he was doing the right thing. He wanted her to be his wife some day, the mother of his children in the future, and the only person to be there who would share the rest of his life with him.

He wanted her, and only her.

A greeting from Chuck pulled him out of his reverie, and he nodded a hello at his friend's husband, the smile never leaving his face as he looked back over to her.

"Hey." The happiness in her voice was hard to miss. She smiled brightly at him as he smiled back at her, watching as she held little Gemma's hands as the baby bounced up and down happily. "What brings you here?"

He could feel all eyes on him. "I uh… I needed to talk to you, wanted to get your opinion on something."

Chuck cleared his throat, motioning to Susan for them to leave. "Well, we'll leave you to it then."

He held up his hand, and shook his hand. "No… no, please stay. I want you both to hear this, too."

She chuckled wryly, as she passed the baby to her nearby mother. "Sounds serious. Everything okay Carter?"

He nodded. "It's more than okay, great even." She raised an eyebrow, silently asking him to continue on when he didn't. "Uh, Abby, I've been thinking, about a lot actually… these past couple of years, about us, about Africa. I've been spending a lot of time, thinking, trying to find answers… trying to get clarity." He paused, watching as she clasped her hands together tightly, her imploring eyes never leaving his. "And I only get that when I look at you." He swallowed the lump that had lodged itself in his throat and exhaled deeply, catching the tender look that crossed her face with his last words. "You know that I didn't propose to you that night in the restaurant. It didn't feel right, we needed to make changes, even work through things by ourselves. I kept telling myself that I'd know when the time is right to ask you again, but then things got in the way -- many things that I don't think we need to elaborate on right now."

He raised his eyebrow slightly, but she was stunned speechless. She could do no more than watch him as he took yet another step towards her.

"I wanted… I want to do it right this time." He reached into his pocket, and his cold fingers enclosed the small velvet box that once upon a time before had been reserved for her and her only. "So many things have come between us, and they were bound and determined to break us… making it known that maybe for some reason, we're not supposed to be together." He pulled out the box, and closed the distance between them as he stood in front of her. Reaching over and picking up her hands between his, he squeezed them gently, before overturning her left palm and placing the little blue box on top of it. "We're supposed to be together even if there are things out there that are determined to make sure we're not -- you know it, I know it. I don't want anything else to come between us anymore, Abby…"

"John…" Her voice came out a shaky whisper, incipient tears threatening to cascade down her reddened cheeks.

"This is the real thing, I want this to stick." His hands pointed between the two of them, and he let go of her hands in favour of resting on against the back of her chair, the other in his pocket. "You only have one life to make it right, and I know that I want to take a leap of faith right now… I want to make my life right with you."

She gazed down at the box resting upon her hand, before closing her fingers around it and looking up at him. The tears in her eyes mirrored his, and he nodded gently.

"I'm not asking you to marry me right now, Abby." He quietly cleared his throat, hoping that what he would say next would come out the way he wanted it to. "I'm simply asking that you take the next step with me, a promise of sorts… that we can get through it all together, and get married someday down the road. A commitment to ourselves and to each other, to make this work."

He gestured towards the box, encouraging her to open it. With trembling fingers, the apartment was silent as only the creak of the box being opened up could be heard resonating throughout the tense room. Her eyes narrowed in confusion as she looked down at it, wondering if this was some sort of joke being played on her -- one of those candid camera, 's_urprise, we fooled you_!' scenarios you so often saw on those ridiculous reality tv shows.

It was empty.

She frowned again, before raising her eyes to meet his again.

And as she raised them, they swept across the sparkle of the simple diamond ring in front of her, clenched between his thumb and forefinger as he lowered himself down onto one knee before her. A small smile crept across her face, as a knowing smile adorned his.

"What do you say Abby… would you like to make that commitment with me?"

The soft question escaping his mouth rang like music in her ears, and she looked behind her at Susan, who was squealing to herself silently and clapping her hands together. Trying to contain her excitement wasn't working too well for her best friend, but she couldn't help but smile in spite of it.

She turned back around and stood up, carefully taking a step closer towards him. Reaching out, she grabbed his hands and pulled him towards her so he was now standing up, her hands coming to rest atop on the soft worn-in cotton of his favourite shirt. "No more games?" she whispered, accentuating her question with an affirming nod and a raise of her eyebrows.

He grinned, and placed a hand over her left one. "No more games," he answered, before picking up her hand and bringing his lips to it, brushing them softly against her ring finger.

She exhaled a breath, one she didn't realise she'd been holding up until now. "This is it… for real."

"This is it," he echoed, holding up the ring between them for her to take a closer look at. "No more hiding."

"No more running," she counter-acted, squeezing his hand again.

The air between them was thick with emotion, and a lone tear escaped her eye and trickled down a cheek. She laughed in embarrassment as she reached up to wipe it away, but he stopped her, instead his finger brushing it away gently before cupping the side of her face in his palm.

"We have a lot to work through," she said, her soft voice trembling as she tried to mask that little bit of uncertainty she was feeling.

He nodded. "I know. But I know we can do it." He leaned in closer, the comforting look in his eyes washing over her and bringing another smile to her face. "This time it will be better, this will be worth it… we have something that you or I would be crazy to not fight for. It's always been you, Abby."

She stared up at him again, her mouth formed in a small 'o', her eyes full of exhilaration, trepidation… love.

"Oh, would you just say yes already!"

They both looked over to see Susan standing there, who was now being restrained by Chuck; his arm around her neck, hand covering her mouth.

She shared a look with her best friend, who despite being held against her will, was nodding along eagerly, her eyes begging her to answer his question and put them all out of suspense. She smiled faintly at Susan, before taking a deep breath and turning around to look at the elegant ring once more, then facing him. His curious and questioning eyes were inviting into her own, asking her to answer him -- asking her if she was ready to make that commitment like he was.

The reservations faded away as quickly as they had come. "Yes…" Her words exhaled as a whisper. "I will, I'll take that step with you, John."

He grinned and seized her into a hug as her soft words trailed over him, enclosing her tightly within his embrace. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she allowed herself to be swept up by him as he placed a tender kiss on her temple.

The ring was then slipped effortlessly onto her finger and he bent down, finally pressing his lips against hers in a kiss that both had been waiting for since declarations and feelings had been articulated earlier on in the month.

"C'mon Chuck… I think we'll be leaving them to it, now." Susan's voice cut through the silence, her excitement toned down a notch. "Abby, I expect an update tomorrow. A big, detailed one." She pulled her friend into a one handed hug, baby Gemma nestled securely in her other arm. "Congratulations, the both of you. You deserve this. It took you far too damn long, but you deserve it."

"Thanks Susan," she whispered, hugging her once more and then placing a tiny kiss on the baby's cheek, waving goodbye the departing family.

He couldn't mask the exhilaration in his voice, after they had said their farewells and watched their friends leave. "You know that this will be all over County by tomorrow morning… possibly even tonight."

She shrugged slightly, slinging her hands casually around his neck. "You think that's such a bad thing?"

"Of course not." He leaned in to kiss her once more, deepening it when he felt her sink further into his embrace. "Thanks," he whispered in her ear, after they both reluctantly parted and as she hugged him once more.

"What for?" she asked, as she pulled back to look at him.

He smiled, reaching for her left hand and rubbing his thumb over the diamond ring -- it now in its rightful place.

"For committing."

-----

His fingers trailed down her side, creating small goose bumps on bronzed skin in their wake. He lingered on her bare hip, and she stirred slightly as he gently kissed the base of her bare neck, breathing in the all too familiar smell that had always encompassed her -- coffee, citrus shampoo, the sweet smelling laundry detergent. All her, all familiarities that he had achingly missed, although they were now minus the stale nicotine that had long since left her small apartment.

He smiled as she sighed, and turned around in his embrace; arms slipping around his waist, cheek resting on his bare chest.

"Hey," she croaked out, her voice emulating the grogginess she was feeling. Squeezing him gently, she placed a kiss on his chest before burying herself further into him, keeping her eyes firmly shut to avoid to the shards of light peeking in through the curtains. "What are you doing awake?"

He rolled her over so he was now half-lying on her, his arms never leaving her sides. "I was just thinking."

"Oh yeah, about what?"

Bending down, he kissed her along her jaw, trailing down towards her collarbone. "You," he murmured, beginning his ascent.

She sighed in his ear, moving her head so he had better access to her neck. "Me?"

He kissed her gently, before pulling back to look down at her. "Of course you. Who else would I be thinking about?" It was silent, and she squirmed wordlessly in his embrace. "Abby… look at me." A moment passed, but she finally did so, and he swept her bangs out of her eyes for her, leaving his hand resting on her cheek. "I have loved you since the moment I first got to really know you. It took me going to Africa, and leaving you behind, to realise that I'll never be able to stop thinking about you… and loving you." His finger trailed down her jaw line. "I'll never forget what Kem gave me, my son… but if I'm to be 100 honest with myself, I don't think I was ever in love with her. It was more…" he trailed off, his mind casting back to the day he found out he was going to be a father.

She sensed this, his thoughts momentarily getting the best of him. "About what she was giving you?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "There was something there, but I don't think it was love. She was just another escape for me, another distraction from the real world -- something I could immerse myself in to forget what I had, or hoped to have, back here in Chicago." He paused again, taking a deep breath. "I will always love my son and I'll never forget him, but I think that her leaving me was probably the best thing that could have happened for the both of us. His death showed me that it was never destined to work if we couldn't help each other through that time, if we couldn't find a way to get through it together and grow stronger as a couple. We were never meant to be together."

He rolled onto his side, leaning his head on his hand and focusing his eyes on the pattern of her bedspread, avoiding her soft, yet piercing gaze.

"John…" She cupped his chin in her hand, turning his face towards her and giving him a reassuring smile. "You don't have to be ashamed to talk about it. I understand it must be difficult, but you don't have to keep quiet about it only for my account."

He smiled faintly. "I know, but there's another time for that; I promise. I just wanted to tell you that I knew deep down it would always be you, no matter what happened, or if I was with somebody else… like Kem. Too many things got in the way, but it's like what I said when we first came out of the lockdown." She groaned as she moved away from him, playfully swatting away his hands as he attempted to roll her back over. He managed to half roll her back over, leaning on her side and resting his chin on tanned arm. "I mean it… I'm drawn to you, in a way I think I won't ever be able to explain, but in a way I don't think I need to either. I want to be where ever you are, and I think it's that simple."

She nodded, understanding what he meant, the memories of that day at Lake Michigan flooding back. Another flashed to her in that moment, and that familiar wry smile adorned her face again. "Here we are," she whispered, her smile widening as he recognised the familiarity of her words.

"Here we are," he echoed, meeting her halfway as their lips locked again.

"I'm glad you came here tonight."

"Me too."

Settling against her once more, he buried his face into the crook of her neck before letting his head fall on the pillow next to hers. "One more thing…"

Her whine was distinctive, even in the depths of her sleepy voice. "John…"

He chuckled, knowing that sleepless nights coupled with an intern's hectic schedule wasn't agreeing with her. "Just one more thing, I promise."

"Okay, but only if I can keep my eyes closed," she said, rolling over so she was now facing him, albeit with her eyes shut.

"About that night at Ike's…"

Her eyes snapped open, immediately knowing what he was going to ask her. He opened his mouth to continue speaking, but she brought her thumb up and placed it against his lips, silencing him. "You want to know if I meant what I said to you, before I left." He nodded slowly, reaching up and clasping her hand in his. "The truth is, I… I should have told you that a long time ago. I was so scared to tell you how I really felt, but I also didn't want to lose you." She closed her eyes momentarily, instantly remembering a day not more than a year ago. "The day I got your letter, I think I was almost ready to fall apart -- work was shit, I hadn't heard from you-"

"-Abby, that letter-"

"-No, it's okay, I promise." She smiled reassuringly, squeezing his hand. "Truthfully John, that letter… yeah, it made me angry, but more than that, it opened my eyes and made me see that I wasn't happy with myself, with my life… and that I wouldn't be happy until I dealt with the things that needed to be dealt with. I went back to med school, and I'm a doctor now. I've also been sober for two years, and have had no cigarettes since then, either." She laughed quietly, rolling her eyes. "Just ask Susan how many times I wanted to rip into something – or someone – when I desperately wanted one. Romano was on my hit list for sure those first few weeks after I started back."

He laughed along with her. "I am proud of you, you know," he finally said, his eyes matching the sincerity in his voice.

"I know, and I hope you know that I'm proud of you too… for going to Africa, to do what you needed to do." Her fingers tapped against his chest, the diamond in her ring sparkling in the small fragments of light that had found its way through closed curtains. "But, I wanted to do those things for myself because I knew that in some way, you were right… I can't keep putting my life on hold, and I'm never going to get anywhere if I just sit in limbo all the time. I'll end up losing everything if I continue to do that, and I couldn't bear to lose anyone else after I lost you to Africa the second time. I mean, hell… I was mad at you, and I wanted to scream at you, I won't deny that." A tiny smile crossed her face that moment, telling him that wasn't the case and she didn't feel that way anymore. "But I think most of all I was grateful for you, even if I didn't show it to you… or even know it myself at the time, as I read what you'd written."

It was quiet again, as her words sunk into the depths of his mind. It was true; he was incredibly proud of what she had done. She had chosen to push forward, to not give up.

She interrupted his thoughts with a lone finger trailing down his chest, garnering his attention again. Eyes locked on one another again, she smiled at him. "And I also want you to know that most of all, I really did mean what I said in Ike's that day. I do love you, and my biggest mistake was never telling you."

He leaned in closer to her, a small smile playing on his lips. "I love you too."

She rolled her eyes again playfully, poking him gently in the chest. "Well, that's a relief to know."

He resisted the urge to childishly stick his tongue out at her, but before he got the chance to act upon it, she was turning back around in his arms, wrapping them around her stomach, the smile never leaving her face. "I missed you," he whispered into the long darkened tresses that splayed out around her pillow.

"I missed you too… thanks for coming home," she whispered into the dark, her only response the tightening of his arms around her.

And while he may have known it before, he now knew for sure that this was how it was supposed to be, all along.

He made a move, she took the leap with him, and they finally committed.

It felt right.

He was supposed to be here, with her. Here in her bed, in her embrace, in her home.

Home.

It was definitely right.

-----

_Fin._

-----


End file.
